refinancing

Boy, do I loathe refinancing the house. BUT - the rates are reasonable now, and we currently have a crazy month to month adjustable deal... we'd like to lock into something more stable since we plan to stay in this house until the kids are out of high school.

But, now I have to display my ignorance for all to behold. I have to talk rates and points, lender fees, 3rd party fees, title fees, government fees, blah blah blah blah blah.... I have to make informed decisions about whether to roll our equity line into the mortgage, how many points is it worth paying to get a lower rate? How long will it take us to earn back that money? I have to stress about getting approved for it all, although a huge burden was lifted when I learned that my credit rating is excellent. I knew we were good, but I didn't know we were THAT good.

Refinancing always causes stress between me and DH. I obsess too much about the minutae of the whole process, and he just figures everything will work out. Meanwhile, I am trying to talk out all of my obsessiveness, and he gets impatient with me, and bam! instant tension. I am trying to be good this time. It's hard.