the real reason i can't sleep

Have you seen the April 24 cover of Newsweek? "Why Women Can't Sleep" is the cover story. It shows an exasperated woman sitting in bed holding a crying baby while the husband appears to be sleeping beautifully right beside her. I saw this cover and I thought how dead-on it was.

My husband sleeps like a log every night. I have actually found The Babe at his side of the bed, calling "daddy? daddy?" trying to wake him, and he doesn't budge. I, on the other hand, hear The Babe as soon as her feet hit the floor next to her bed. The Boy is still being "monitored", so I hear his every move, and I am in his room in a heartbeat if he is having trouble sleeping. I work until midnight, and I get to bed around 12:30 am most nights. While I'll admit that it is my dear husband who wakes with the children in the morning, letting me "sleep in", I will always maintain that I get very little sleep. I am awakened too many times during the night for it to be at all restful. In fact, I sleep my best sleep between 6:30 am and 8:30 am, when I know everyone else is awake, and I feel I can be truly "off-duty".

So, the Newsweek arrives with this picture on the cover, it appears to depict my life exactly, and I am thinking I will really love this article. That I should show it to DH and explain to him why I am tired and crabby. Well, despite the picture that is my life, the article itself doesn't explain anything that pertains to me. Dammit.

Last night, I couldn't sleep. I was restless in bed. My short periods of sleep were filled with dreams in which I needed to decide. When I woke up each time during the night, I pondered the question at hand. I went back and forth, back and forth. Red? or Pink? Which one should I get? What should I do? Red goes well with almost everything, well, except in summer time. Pink would be better for that. So should I get red? or pink? I dreamed about it, I stressed over it, I lost sleep over it.

What color Crocs should I buy?

That's the real reason I can't sleep.