why she is never allowed to leave the house or speak to anyone ever again

This is an actual conversation that took place in my home. Try not to laugh too hard.

Me: "Did you know you will always be my little girl?"

The Babe: "Even when I'm big? Even when I'm a mommy?"

Me: "Yes. Even when you are a mommy and have babies of your own, you will always be my little girl."

The Babe: "How do I get to have babies?"

Me: "Well, first you need to find a daddy, and then you fall in love, get married, and have babies."

The Babe: "So, Daddy and I will make babies?"

Me: (panicking) "No, honey, you have to find a different daddy, not your daddy... you'll meet another boy that you like and you'll make babies with him."

I thought I saved that one. But then the next day...

The Babe: "Daddy, Mommy says that you and I are going to make babies. When do we get to make babies?"

Daddy: "Oh, really?" (gives me a total WTF look)

Me: (Dead on the floor from embarrassment)