behaving

Have you ever given your child a consequence, and then had trouble following through? I'm sure you have, right? I'm sure every parent has... Well, The Boy made it hard on me last night, for sure.

Yesterday I was feeling ill. So much so that I (gasp!) called in sick to work after I even (gasp, gasp!!!) took myself to the doctor. Nothing huge going on, doctor says upper respiratory, but I sure felt crummy. I bided my time by doing 3 loads of laundry, and I had them all folded in their baskets and ready to go upstairs.

As we were walking upstairs for the bath, I noticed The Boy's dirty socks from the day on the second step, waiting to go up and be put in the hamper. My hands were full of laundry. I asked The Boy to please pick up his socks and bring them upstairs with us. He said no. I asked him again, he again said no. Then I told him to do it quite sternly, and again he said no. I told him that if he did not pick up his socks, he would not be getting his dessert. The Kiddos are awarded a small treat each night as dessert as long as they have eaten dinner nicely and behaved well in the bath. So, I told him he needed to pick up the socks or lose his treat. He said no. Then, I quite clearly asked him "so, you are choosing to give up your dessert?" and he said yes. I picked up the socks and away we went.

The Boy was very good in his bath. He wanted his treat, as usual, afterwards. I told him no, and I reminded him why. Oh, the tears! The water works in full effect! The drama! I did feel a bit bad, but not enough to give in. He cried all the way downstairs.

He cried when The Babe got to choose her lollipop. He cried the whole time she ate hers. He was sad, and crawled into my lap for snuggles. I let him get extra hugs from mommy, but I did not give him a treat. My husband says The Boy is playing me to get the extra snuggles, and that may be true; but I haven't yet found the strength to turn away a child that wants to snuggle. 20 minutes later, The Boy asks me for a lollipop. "But, my being good, mommy! My be very very haave" He's somehow mixed up the word 'behave', so when he's been good, he tells me he's very 'haave' with a long 'a'. Get it? "make sure you behave!". I can see how it would happen. I again told him no lollipop, and again with the sad tears.

The thing is, I may have over reacted to the sock thing. I was feeling crummy. But I didn't ask him to do anything outrageous, and he really should listen to me. I did feel bad, and I did want to give him the lolly. I really did. But, I have seen children whose parents give in... and you know what? Those kids know that if they whine enough and pester enough they'll get their way. It's so irritating to watch, and I can't imagine if it were my child... anyhow. Whatever I did seems to have worked. The Boy came up to me before the bath today and asked me where his socks were. He wanted to carry them upstairs so he could be very very haave and earn his treat.