gross

Since becoming a mother, I have endured many, many instances of icky. I have done things in the last five years that I never would have dreamed of doing before I had children of my own.

I've been pooped on, tinkled on, vomited on. I've cleaned all sorts of poop, tinkle, and vomit out of carpets, clothes, bedding, car seats, cars, you name it. I've pulled half chewed food out of my choking child's throat. I've done all these things without batting an eye, because it's just what you do as a mom. OK. Maybe I batted an eye, but still... for the most part, considering how icky any of these things would have been to me prior to having kids, I think I've handled myself pretty well.

The Babe's tooth, which she should have lost last month, but certainly should have fallen out on Monday when it's partner jumped ship, was still hanging on this morning. For the record, today is Thursday. This tooth was so incredibly loose that it's mere presence in The Babe's mouth was causing her discomfort. It was twisting all about, every which way, if she would do even the slightest thing. She was insisting she only eat soft foods because everything else hurt. My husband and I kept telling her it needed to come out. She should just pull it, or let one of us do it; but this would send The Babe into a fit of fearful crying. It was like this all day. It was utter craziness.

I tried all my best tricks all day. She wouldn't let me touch the tooth, mind you, so I had to get creative. My first thought was that we could play a game of soccer, I could "accidentally" get rough, and give her an elbow in the face - just knock that tooth right out of there. Ha! OK, I didn't seriously think that, but it might have worked. What I did do was make her giggle so much that the tooth jiggled and felt funny, and then I could get her to play with it with her tongue. She could move it around so much! There were several times I was sure it would work. No luck. I tried wiping her chin vigorously after lunch (wow, honey, you sure got yogurt all over!) even though there was no mess. I even tried to guilt her. I told her the tooth fairy has been waiting patiently for this one for so long... she really should just help the poor fairy out and let the tooth go. Then I told her that our cat Cosmo told me that he wanted to see the tooth up close, that it was his one wish for the day (The Babe is big on wishes), and didn't she want to help make his wish come true? No luck. I wasn't surprised. The Babe insisted she wanted the tooth to fall out on it's own, and even though it was bugging her constantly, she could not be convinced otherwise.

I checked on her tooth after dinner, and it was actually hanging upside down in her mouth (it's a bottom tooth), suspended by I don't know what. It had a jagged edge that used to be neatly tucked into her gums, but not so much anymore. OK. Now, this is getting dangerous. I know right away that there is no way I am letting her go to bed with a precariously dangling jagged tooth in her mouth. No way. What if it fell loose during the night? She could choke!

I convinced her that she had to let me wiggle it. She reluctantly agreed, but insisted that I could only do it after I had washed my hands really well. That made me laugh, but whatever. I made a big production of washing my hands for a really long time, using lots of soapy bubbles. Once I wiggled it, it practically fell into my hand, but was still hanging on. I told The Babe I had to take it, and she cried. But, she very bravely sat still while I grabbed that tooth and just pulled. It took longer than I expected. For as loose as it was, dangling all over her mouth, it was hanging on by a pretty thick thread. I had to really pull, and I felt so terrible, and The Babe was crying, but I got the tooth out.

I don't think we've ever made such a big deal out of anything in our lives, but Daddy and I made such a production over how proud we were about how brave The Babe had been. She cried a little, but got over it quickly. The first thing she wanted to do was show the tooth to Cosmo, because we had made his wish come true. Thank goodness the cat sniffed at the tooth and seemed interested. It made her day, and she was instantly in a great mood.

The Babe's first lost tooth earned her a Golden Sacagawea Dollar. I thought that was pretty special. This tooth, however, the tooth fairy has brought an Eisenhower Silver Dollar and a packet of teddy bear stickers. Traumatic incidents earn The Babe stickers. That was a lesson I learned early as a mother.

Now, I'm not sure why... but pulling that tooth out ranks as one of the grossest things I've ever had to do as a mommy. You'd think that poop and vomit would have loose teeth beat, hands down. I am surprised that they don't. I think it's because I am always a passive participant in the poop and vomit episodes, whereas this time, I had to aggressively go after the ick. I hope the other teeth just fall out on their own.