vacation

My husband and I will be going on vacation this week. Unlike last time, when we stayed home and I felt all weird looking at my office and not working, we are actually leaving town. We leave on Sunday and get back on Friday. No kids allowed.

I have been looking forward to this trip for a long time. We did not get away at all last year, and it shows. We are tired. We could use a break. We need to just have grown up time, so we can act like kids, LOL. I want to sleep as late as I want, eat whatever I want, do whatever I want. I want to have a meal without arguing with someone over how much is an appropriate amount to eat, and without dealing with the tears that come when I say "no you may not be excused, please eat more ______".

But, I am dreading it at the same time. First of all, I don't fly well. So the airplane ride really puts a damper on things for me. I get through the first ride there, and then I have fun, but hanging over my head is the fact that I still have one more airplane ride to go. Argh. At least this time I can be my regular nervous self. Come June, when we vacation with the kids, I will have to be Brave Mommy and act like flying is no big deal at all... while inside I will be melting from the fear.

Besides the airplane ride, though, is the sense that I don't really want to leave The Kiddos. Yes, they are the ones from whom I am planning an escape. They are a big reason why I need this vacation... but they are the ones whom I hate to leave. I don't like the idea of missing anything that happens, and I worry about not being there in case something *does* happen. I thrive on the comfort and routine of home as much as they do, and leaving it, and leaving them, does not sit well with me. But, it's not the first time, and it won't be the last... they have a wonderful time without us here.

Just today, The Babe told me "Mommy, I can't wait for tomorrow", and I asked her why. She said "because Gramma is coming for a WHOLE WEEK!". The fact that my husband and I are leaving is like a foot note to the fact that Gramma will be here for a whole week, so I know The Kiddos will be fine. I think I will be, too. I hope.